Stone: The Musical
by Myrtle the Tyrtle
Summary: Harry Potter and The Philospher's Stone has been broken down into a musical the story has been abreviated, and songs and Myrtleisms have been added! Need I say more? AN: please don't get too attached to this story, it is worthy of deletion. BUT R&R ANYWAY
1. Chapter 1

**STONE! THE MUSICAL**

**by MYRTLE THE TYRTLE**

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**CHAPTER ONE**

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Mr and Mrs Dursley were proud to consider themselves "perfectly normal." Mr Dursley was the director of a drill manufacturing firm called Grunnings, while Mrs Dursley stayed home with their son, Dudley, who at just over one year of age was already a perfect, smiling beach ball.

However, what they considered to be abnormal was right about to appear right under their noses. At the precise moment Mr Dursley left for work on the dull grey Tuesday morning this story starts, a tabby cat appeared with a small pop out of nowhere, hopped up on a garden wall and commenced reading a map, apparently to check where it was.

Mr Dursley looked at it. "Cats can't read maps!" he told himself, before driving on.

After a (relatively) uneventful day at the office (if you call being worried about your nephew's name, hugged by a midget and called a 'Muggle' normal) Mr Dursley went home and went straight to bed, to tired to even sing about his day.

But soon there would be someone else singing about their day…

A tall man materialised with a small pop, and one by one extinguished all the streetlights with what appeared to be a cigarette lighter.

"I did wonder where you'd got to, Professor McGonagall," he said with a grin, and the cat turned back into a woman.

"For your information, Professor Dumbledore, I have been…" she broke into song as music came into earshot… "sitting here on this boring wall, it's just another Tuesday night, after all, I'm wasting my time, I've got nothing to do, I'm hanging around, I'm waiting for you. But nothing ever happens… and I wonder."

The music faded, and Dumbledore spoke gravely. "I'm afraid Professor McGonagall, that I have bad news for you."

Some more music began to play, different.

"Have you heard (there's a rumour in the wizard world)? Have you heard (what they're saying on the streets)?"

She pursed at him. "I've been on the streets all day."

"Don't interrupt the song. Ahem He came but they did not survive – he did not leave the Potters alive!"

"But what about young Harry!"

"Hagrid will bring him here."

/End song/

"Do you really trust Hagrid with the son of Lily and James Potter?"

"My dear, Professor McGonagall, I would trust Hagrid with my life. Although, perhaps him being my secret-keeper might be taking it a bit too far… but he is certainly capable of bringing a baby to this house."

"Who lives here, anyway, aside from a fat man, a woman that's all neck and their spoilt brat of a son?"

"Here? Oh, just Harry's only living relatives."

"But…" (another song!) "Dumbledore… you can't leave him here…. I've been here all day, and…they're a family to fear."

"Can't be worse than Voldemort, Professor."

"What did you say about interrupting?"

"Sorry. Anyway, the music's stopped."

She frowned at him. "They're possibly the worst lot of Muggles in existence. The boy is a brat – he was being dragged by his mother, kicking and screaming for sweets!"

"Nonetheless, they are his only family, and therefore the strongest protection he will get from anyone – even myself."

They stood in silence for a few minutes, and then it was broken by the roar of a motorcycle. It floated down from the sky, and rested beside the Professors.

A giant man stepped off gingerly; he was holding a baby.

"Here y'are, Professors," he said through a large beard. "Harry Potter."

Lightening flashed, and it illuminated a similar scar on the boy's head.

"Harry Potter," repeated Dumbledore, as he rested the boy beside the milk bottles on the front door.

"Harry Potter."

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A/N: Ta-da! Chapter One is complete, and kinda short. For your information, the song references are:

**x Lemon Tree, by Fool's Garden (Minerva's First Song)**

**x There's a Rumour in St Petersburg, from Anastasia the Movie (Dumbledore's Song)**

**x Memory, by Andrew Lloyd Webber (Minerva's Second Song)**

**Please let me know what you think about all of this, and let me know of any requests!**

**MYRTLE **


	2. Chapter 2

**STONE! THE MUSICAL**

**by MYRTLE THE TYRTLE**

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**CHAPTER TWO: THE AUTHOR'S NOTE**

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I apologise to all that were watching and waiting for the next part of this story. It will not be published. :(

HOWEVER... I am working on an anthology of songs that I have "borrowed" from various websites and changed the lyrics to. This does mean that this story, along with its two reviews will sadly be deleted forever.

Yes, it breaks my heart too, but I know that I can't finish it. An chapter will be added to this story when the antholgy is published - hopefully it will be better than this one!

If, for some odd reason you do want a copy of this kept for old times sake I suggest you copy it into a document of your own, print it out and frame it before hanging it in place of pride on your wall/mantlepiece/rear vision mirror.

Please don't hurt me back for the pain I am sure I have caused you all...

**MYRTLE THE TYRTLE**


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